


numb

by sxftmelody



Category: LOONA (Korea Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - I Am Legend, F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-02
Updated: 2018-12-02
Packaged: 2019-09-05 10:16:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,494
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16808668
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sxftmelody/pseuds/sxftmelody
Summary: "They’re… They’re intelligent beings, Jungeun.”“You speak of them so highly,” Jungeun scoffs, “they’re just monsters.”“They’re not,” Jinsol replies, shaking her head, “and they deserve to be spoken highly of.”“That’s ridiculous,” the shorter woman says, “whose side are you on?”“What sides are there left to be on?” Jinsol retorts.…“Mine,” Jungeun turns abruptly on her heel, coming face-to-face with Jinsol.





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**Author's Note:**

> yes this is based off of IAL but don't sue me if some of it is canon divergent. i write what i wanna write shfdhjsfd

Living is a rinse-and-repeat cycle that Jungeun’s quickly gotten bored of.

When she wakes up, her first task of the day is to clean up the mess that the creatures left her in the nighttime. She repairs the boarded-up windows, kicks away stray pebbles on the front steps, and drags bodies of the dead into the back of her truck.

Today is no different.

Her alarm wakes her up at the ass-crack of dawn and she lazily drags her body out of bed after turning it off, sitting on the edge of her mattress with slouched shoulders as she cranes her neck. After cracking a few bones, she stretches and gets up, walking out into the living room/kitchen of the small house she’s made her own.

She eats a leftover can of beans from last night that she hadn’t gotten to finish (she lost her appetite after hearing one too many snarls from the beasts). It’s cold and it doesn’t taste like much, but it’s food so she’ll eat it.

After that, Jungeun brushes out her hair and ties it up into a messy ponytail. She walks towards the front door where her bag is hanging on a hook on the wall and slips it on. Jungeun grabs the rifle next to it, sliding open the peephole she made in the door and staring out into the streets.

They’re still there. Staring.

They heard her wake up and they heard her open the peephole. They can probably hear her sucking her teeth in annoyance, too.

They get lower to the ground, chests heaving with forever-pumping adrenaline coursing through their veins. Some of them get closer to the house and Jungeun narrows her eyes.

She shuts the peephole and walks away from the door, deciding to check stock instead.

The sun should be out soon.

-

Jungeun hears the scampering of their feet as she’s jotting down a list of materials she needs to find throughout the town. She heads towards the peephole and spots the group running away from the sunlight that’s slowly beginning to envelope the street.

The girl unlocks the door and grabs her bag, stuffing the list into her back pocket as she reaches for the rifle.

Same shit, different day.

-

“Yes, precisely,” Jinsol nods as she jots down notes on her clipboard, eyes flickering between the many pieces of paper spread out on the desk in front of her, “it’s not impossible to reverse the virus. In fact, it’s not hard at all.”

“And you’ve managed to do it,” the man across the table from her mumbles in awe, staring at the rat in cage number 116. An hour earlier it had been rabid, infected with the same virus that had caused an epidemic all across the world.

Now? It’s as if it had never been infected.

“I have,” Jinsol says confidently, “if the same vaccine can be used across mammals, I’m sure that using these on the actual creatures will work.”

The man hums, impressed, “I’ll see to it that your vaccine gets to the higher-ups.”

Jinsol smiles, “Thank you.”

-

_And, in an ideal post-apocalyptic world, Jinsol’s vaccine would have been mass-produced and administered all across the continents._

_This is not an ideal post-apocalyptic world._

-

Jinsol gasps as co-worker after co-worker is killed right before her eyes. She stumbles back, taking small steps until she’s pushed into the far back corner of the laboratory, eyes blurry with tears. Despite the blurry vision, Jinsol can perfectly make out the silhouettes of the beasts in front of her, their long dainty arms and legs and their pale skin tone—so pale that it almost looks transparent with the way their blue and purple veins are so clearly visible.

She’s never seen one so up-close before.

Now she gets to see **seven**.

After taking out the majority of her co-workers, they don’t seem to notice Jinsol until she flinches when one of them rips the IV out of the woman on the experiment table.

They roar and shriek at her, rushing towards her—only to stop when the one that had taken the IV out growls threateningly for them to stop. Jinsol’s eyes are wide-open in fear as the leader stalks towards her, tilting his head side to side.

He towers over Jinsol, easily being about three heads taller than her, and opens his mouth to let out another low growl. The leader looks back over to the woman on the table, who’s quickly losing color (not because she is infected, but because she’s dying), and looks back to Jinsol.

Oh.

_Oh_.

He wants Jinsol to save her.

“Okay,” Jinsol whispers, nodding as she takes slow steps towards the table. As she walks by the creatures, they get close to her and they snarl and they scream and Jinsol’s on the verge of tears by the time she gets to the dying girl on the table.

Her movements are slow as she reattaches the IV, breaths almost uneven as the creature in front of her. When she reaches down towards a drawer, one of the creatures jumps forward to leap on her and she closes her eyes tightly.

Nothing happens.

She peeks an eye open and spots the leader grabbing the creature by the throat and pushing him back.

Jinsol would’ve never thought she’d be thankful towards one of them.

The leader huffs and looks towards to Jinsol, a sign for her to keep going.

Jinsol continues, her movements _much_ much slower.

When she finally injects the syringe (full of the virus that Jinsol’s spent the last few months trying to cure) into the woman’s veins, she comes alive with a large, shaky inhale.

The leader pushes Jinsol to the side as he wraps the woman up into his arms. He removes the IV carefully, not as rough as he had done the first time, as the woman seeks comfort in his embrace.

Jinsol holds her breath as she watches the exchange, astonished at the sight in front of her.

And it’s over before she knows it.

The leader acknowledges Jinsol one last time before he orders the rest of the group to leave. He leaves with his partner in his arms.

And that’s when Jinsol blacks out.

—

When Jungeun spots the smoke in the sky, she’s filled with a rush of excitement.

_Finally. Something besides my usual routine._

She hops into her car and heads towards it.

-

The whole building’s on fire when Jungeun arrives. She eases her foot down on the break as she nears it, letting out a low whistle.

No wonder Jungeun’s seen it from miles away.

The building’s fucking _huge_.

And it’s all going to be a big pile of ash soon.

Jungeun hops out of her truck and places both hands on her rifle, walking towards the crackling chaos.

She wonders what caused the fire. Maybe a spontaneous combustion of the building’s gas pipes? Who knows?

A part of her hopes that maybe it had been human-caused, but she knows that that’s a long-shot. She hasn’t seen signs of another human in months.

Besides, those damn creatures could’ve probably accidentally caused this—which is why she needs to have her guard up.

She walks around the building, doing a small perimeter scan of the area, frowning when she fails to see any sign of life (or death).

That is, until she gets to the back of the building where the entrance of a small bunker is.

The doors are wide open with smoke rising from it. Jungeun heads towards it, turning on the flashlight holstered to her backpack strap as she looks down at the entrance.

Within the orange hue given off from the flames, Jungeun can see the figure of a body slumped at the bottom of the stairs. She raises her gun and aims.

“Hello?” she calls out, flinching when she a piece of debris falls down next to her.

Upon hearing the voice, the person looks up and Jungeun’s shocked to see that it’s a human.

A girl.

“Oh, shit,” Jungeun whispers. She lowers her gun and descends down the stairs, reaching the injured woman within seconds. The heat is blistering hot and all the smoke makes it hard for Jungeun to breathe. She wonders how the woman’s still alive.

“I’m gonna try to get you up,” Jungeun coughs, leaning down and wrapping an arm around the woman’s midsection. When she’s up onto her feet, Jungeun helps her up the stairs slowly.

It’s only when they near the top of the stairs that Jungeun realizes the entire right side of the woman’s face is drenched in blood.

“Shit,” Jungeun mumbles again as the woman’s legs give out and she falls towards the grass.

Jungeun shifts the rifle onto her back and brings both arms underneath the woman, carrying her bridal style back to the truck. As she sets her down onto the backseat, Jungeun looks at the gash on her face. It goes right across her right eye.

She rummages in her bag and takes out a small roll of bandages. Jungeun hurriedly rolls the bandage around the girl’s head as a temporary way of keeping her from bleeding out and dying. When she thinks she’s sufficiently done all the damage-control she can, she runs to the driver’s seat and starts the car.

It had taken her nearly all day to drive towards the building. It’s going to take her all day to drive back.

If she wants to save this girl, she needs to hurry.

-

The sky is dark when Jungeun gets back to her home and for the first time in a while, she’s scared.

She had gotten so used to her schedule and so used to knowing what was going to happen at all times that it’s made her numb to the fear.

But she’s not used to having a girl—a _human_ girl—in the back of her truck, on the verge of death.

She’s not used to not being inside with the door locked by the time the sun has set, she’s not used to still being out at this time—and it scares her.

Jungeun pulls into the driveway and gets out as soon as the car is stationary. She runs to the front door and opens it before running back to her car and getting the girl out.

_They’re going to be here soon. They’re going to be here soon._

She scrambles up the front steps and into the house, closing the door behind her as she sets the girl down onto the couch. Jungeun hurries back to lock all the locks she has on the door before running towards the bathroom where she keeps all of her first-aid supplies. She grabs all that she can hold in her arms and hurries to the girl.

“Hey, can you hear me?” Jungeun tries.

The girl groans.

“Okay, good,” Jungeun whispers, “I’m going to clean you up, alright? It’s going to hurt.”

She doesn’t get a reply this time.

Jungeun’s hands are shaky as she unwraps the bandaging she had done a few hours earlier. They’re soaked red with the girl’s blood and Jungeun winces when she realizes just how bad the injury is. The girl’s going to wake up blind in her right eye.

Jungeun wipes away all the dried blood with a wet towel and tries to get a clearer view of the cut. She’s going to need stitches.

“Fuck,” Jungeun mumbles. _The_ **_one_ ** _thing she isn’t good at…_

She opens up the medkit, taking a deep breath.

_She needs to save this girl_.

-

Jinsol wakes up and tries to open her eyes.

Except she can only open _one_.

Because…

_Because…_

_Oh_ **_God_ **.

-

The sun’s barely out when Jungeun hears a high-pitched scream.

She sprints out of her bedroom, still dizzy with sleep though there is a knife clutched tightly in her right hand, “What? What? What is it? Why did you scream?”

Upon seeing Jungeun, Jinsol gasps.

Seeing no immediate danger, Jungeun relaxes, loosening her grip on the knife. She sheathes it into the holster on her belt.

“You’re awake,” Jungeun states, walking towards the kitchen’s cabinets and grabbing a couple of water bottles, “you’re dehydrated. Here, drink up.”

She hands the two bottles to Jinsol, who takes them with weak hands.

After failing to open the caps, Jungeun kneels down and takes the bottles back from Jinsol. She opens the bottle caps and then hands them back to Jinsol.

“I saw the fire all the way from here,” Jungeun explains as Jinsol takes small sips, “I went to check it out and I found you.”

“I thought you were dead at first,” Jungeun says, “and I thought you were going to die here, too.”

Jinsol lowers the bottle from her lips, “Where is ‘here’?”

“My home,” Jungeun answers, “I’m Jungeun, by the way.”

“Jinsol,” the weak girl mumbles. She then looks at Jungeun, “My eye…”

“Oh, that…” Jungeun trails off, “I… I don’t know what happened to it, but you had a pretty nasty gash going across it—I assume something sharp fell on you in the fire or something—but I’ve been cleaning it up as best as I can the past couple days.”

Jinsol stares at the girl kneeling in front of her, “You saved me.”

“You’re the first human I’ve seen ever since this world went to shit,” Jungeun lets out a small crooked smile, “I wasn’t going to just let you die.”

Jinsol, overwhelmed with emotions, lowers her head as she fights back the tears.

“Say… was it those _things_ that caused the fire?” Jungeun asks carefully.

Jinsol nods.

“Motherfuckers,” she hisses under her breath.

Jinsol lets out a ragged breath, “Thank you for saving me.”

“There’s no need to thank me,” Jungeun places a comforting hand on the girl’s knee, “I won’t let those monsters lay another hand on you, Jinsol. You can trust me.”

-

When Jungeun returns from a day out scavenging for materials, she spots Jinsol sat on her bed, flipping through some of the books on her nightstand.

“Harry Potter fan, huh?” Jinsol mumbles after seeing Jungeun walk into the room.

Jungeun shakes her head, “Not really,” she replies, taking off her backpack and sitting on the edge of the bed, “they’re the only books I could find here. I’ve been meaning to find some different books to read but… there’s always more important stuff to carry.”

Jinsol shuts the book as Jungeun scans her face.

“How are you feeling?” she asks.

“Good given the circumstances,” Jinsol answers.

“We should change the bandaging,” Jungeun says, getting up from the bed and leaving the room. She returns moments later with the medkit in one hand with a wet towel and a bottle of alcohol in another, “It’s going to hurt.”

“I know,” Jinsol says, heading towards the edge of the bed and sitting as Jungeun comes to stand in front of her.

“I don’t think you do,” Jungeun murmurs, tilting Jinsol’s head upwards, “you’ve been out cold the last times I’ve done this.”

Jinsol blinks, “Just change it.”

“Okay,” Jungeun shrugs, unwrapping the old bandage. It’s another routine, she thinks, as she wipes the blood and dabs the disinfectant on.

Jinsol grits her teeth and tightens her jaw to keep in the cries of pain, letting out small whines when it gets too much, but she stays quiet for the most part. Jungeun’s impressed.

“Have you eaten?” Jungeun asks quietly as she rolls the bandaging around Jinsol’s head.

“No,”

“Why not?”

“I couldn’t find the can opener.”

Jungeun pauses in her movements.

And then she laughs.

“Couldn’t find the can opener?”

“What?” Jinsol lightly hits Jungeun’s hip, feeling her cheeks warm up, “Why are you laughing at me?”

“You don’t need a can opener to open a can of food, you know?” Jungeun lets out another small chuckle as she shakes her head, finishing up the bandaging.

“Come on, let’s go eat.”

-

It’s sitting next to Jungeun on the couch where Jinsol almost drops the can of food in her grasp because there’s a _thud_ against one of the boarded windows, which is quickly followed by a shriek so familiar that is causes the hair on Jinsol’s arms to stand up.

The sounds continue, varying from low growls to shrill screams, and it only makes Jinsol even more terrified.

“They can’t hurt us in here,” Jungeun whispers, letting the fork rest against the inside of her can as she places her hand on Jinsol’s thigh, “if they could, I wouldn’t be here right now. Trust me. We’re safe.”

Jinsol nods shakily, looking into Jungeun’s eyes.

“Here,” Jungeun sets her food down onto the table and starts to get up from the couch, only for Jinsol to grab onto her hand.

“I’ll be right back,” Jungeun promises.

Jinsol only lets go because the smile Jungeun gives her isn’t one that a liar would give.

When Jungeun reappears into the living room, she has ear plugs in her hands.

She sits back down next to Jinsol, turning her body towards the girl as she puts the ear plugs into Jinsol’s ears. She presses the palms of her hands against the girl’s ears and raises her eyebrows, as if to ask ‘all better?’.

Jinsol nods, and it makes Jungeun smile again.

They go back to eating their meal.

-

Jungeun had gotten Jinsol a blue toothbrush on her day out, and they stand side-by-side as they brush their teeth. Jinsol makes eye-contact with the shorter girl in the broken mirror and is surprised to see the girl already staring at her.

Jungeun looks away with pink-tipped ears.

Jinsol lets out a small giggle and if her ears weren’t plugged, she could hear Jungeun grumbling under her breath.

-

Jungeun planned on letting Jinsol take the bed, but when she gets up to leave the room, Jinsol pulls her back down onto the mattress, eyes wide.

She’s scared, understandably so. Jungeun nods at Jinsol, silently telling her that she’ll stay with her.

She gets up to close the bedroom door and locks it (extra protection, just in case), before heading back to the bed. She lays close to Jinsol, feels the girl’s arm brush against her own. Jungeun hears the creatures outside bustling about, but finds it easy to tune them out because she can also hear Jinsol breathing beside her.

Jungeun closes her eyes, and when she feels Jinsol’s hand slide down her forearm to interlock their fingers, she smiles as she falls asleep.

-

_Jinsol hears the blaring bangs of gunshots from up-above and freezes, syringe in hand. She looks around to her other colleagues, who all look as confused and panicked as her. There’s yelling and screaming before the bunker’s door opens with a clang and heavy footsteps rush down the steps._

_Jinsol runs to hide behind one of the tool carts. She crouches down low and holds her breath as more pained shrieks ring out._

_She closes her eyes, only to open them and see a lifeless body in front of her._

_She screams—_

“ _Jinsol_ —Hey, Jinsol!” Jungeun shakes Jinsol’s trembling body as the girl wakes up with a silent scream lodged at the back of her throat. Jungeun had taken out the earplugs so the injured girl could hear her calls.

Jungeun’s leaning over her, eyes worried and eyebrows furrowed, “It’s okay. You’re safe.”

And, even though Jungeun’s in front of her and she knows that she’s safe, Jinsol finds herself unable to calm herself down. She begins to tear up, the images of her dream (of the reality she had to live through days earlier) still vivid in her mind.

Jungeun tugs her upwards, getting her into a sitting position.

Jinsol leans her head onto Jungeun’s shoulder, her entire body still shaking.

“You’re okay, you’re safe,” Jungeun repeats, running a soothing hand up and down Jinsol’s back. When there’s growling coming from outside again, Jungeun reaches for the ear plugs, “do you want to put them back in?”

Jinsol pulls Jungeun’s hand back towards her body and away from the ear plugs, “No. Just keep talking,” she whispers quietly, trying to drown out those god-awful sounds with Jungeun’s voice.

She clutches onto the front of Jungeun’s shirt as the girl hums.

“When I was little, all I would ever write on my wishlist for Christmas was a pet dog,” Jungeun says as she pulls Jinsol closer, “But I never did end up getting a pet dog—I… I guess this wasn’t a good story to start off with, huh? Not much substance to it…”

Jinsol snorts at Jungeun’s sheepish tone.

Though she’s still shaking, she doesn’t find herself struggling to breathe anymore.

“Did you have any pets?” Jungeun asks.

Jinsol nods, “I had a fish.”

“A fish…” Jungeun repeats, “does that count as a pet?”

“Of course it counts as a pet,” Jinsol replies, slightly offended. She lifts her head off of Jungeun’s shoulder, “Why wouldn’t it?”

“I mean—it’s a _fish_ ,” Jungeun laughs, eyes trailing up and down Jinsol’s face—following the tear stains on her cheeks.

Jinsol frowns, “His name was Blue and he knew tricks.”

“Right,” Jungeun nods, unconvinced. She reaches up and wipes away Jinsol’s tears with calloused fingers, “and I had a pet pig named Pink who knew how to fly.”

Jinsol lightly punches Jungeun’s shoulder, “You’re so mean.”

Jungeun smiles, biting her lip before poking Jinsol’s waist, “I’m sure Blue was the best fish to ever live.”

“He _was_ ,” Jinsol says adamantly.

Jungeun stares at Jinsol, reaching her hand up again and moving some of the girl’s stray strands of hair away from her forehead, “Do you feel better?”

“Yeah,” Jinsol answers, “thank you.”

“Stop thanking me,” Jungeun says, “you don’t need to thank me. If anything, I should be the one thanking you.”

“What? Why?”

Jungeun shrugs, “Life’s been boring living for just myself. It’s gotten bland,” she lowers her hand, resting it on Jinsol’s shoulder, “you’ve given my life more purpose.”

“You’ve finally found the damsel in distress,” Jinsol mumbles.

“That’s not what I meant,” Jungeun frowns, “I’ve been lonely. And it’s nice to have company around. That’s all.”

She removes her hands from Jinsol’s body completely, “Those pale bitches don’t make good company.”

“And one-eyed stranger you saved from a burning laboratory _does_?”

“When the stranger’s cute, yeah,” Jungeun grumbles, “and anyone who isn’t a blood-sucking vampire- _thing_ is good company in my book.”

“Touche,” Jinsol mumbles, though she doesn’t forget about the ‘cute’ comment.

“Back to sleep?” Jungeun asks.

“Sure,” Jinsol nods.

And this time, when they lay back down, Jinsol finds herself resting the uninjured side of her face against Jungeun’s shoulder.

—

“I didn’t know you drew,” Jinsol says one day as Jungeun enters the house. She’s curled up on the end of the couch with an old sketchbook open in her lap.

Jungeun’s heart skips a beat.

“I don’t,” she replies, closing the door and taking her time in locking it up.

“You don’t?” Jinsol questions, “I just figured—”

“—that’s Jiwoo’s sketchbook,” Jungeun says as she finishes up the last lock, and then she realizes that Jinsol doesn’t know who Jiwoo is, “my fiance’s—well… _ex-fiance_ , I guess…”

“Oh,” Jinsol closes the book, “I’m sorry, I didn’t know.”

“You wouldn’t have known,” Jungeun murmurs, shaking her head as she turns around and walks towards the kitchen. She slides off her backpack and starts to set everything she’d gotten out on the table, “it’s okay. That sketchbook is the last thing I have from her.”

“She was talented,” Jinsol says quietly.

_Was_.

Jungeun nods, busying herself by organizing all the cans and water bottles. Jinsol walks over, sketchbook still in her hand, “Do you need help?”

_No_.

It’s what Jungeun wants to say, but she takes another second to think about it before she nods, “That’ll be nice.”

Jinsol slides the sketchbook onto the table and Jungeun’s eyes land on it.

She hadn’t open it since…

Jungeun shakes her head to snap out of it, not allowing herself to go through the painful last memories of her loved one.

Jinsol stands next to her, reading the labels of the cans that Jungeun had brought back.

…

“I didn’t get to say ‘goodbye’ to my family,” she says after a moment of silence, “I was already at work when the virus started to spread. I never had time to go home.”

Jungeun freezes, setting down the can in her hand.

“I had a younger sister named Yerim who wanted to be just like me when she grew up… She’d always copy me and back then I’d wished she’d stop it because it had annoyed me but…” Jinsol sighs, “but now I just wish she were alive so she could do it again.”

“I’m sorry,” Jungeun whispers.

“It’s not your fault,” Jinsol replies, “we’ve all gone through loss. I just wanted to tell you so you wouldn’t feel so alone about Jiwoo—though I know fiance and sister aren’t the same thing.”

“They’re both loved ones,” Jungeun points out, looking over to the other girl.

Jinsol nods, turning to put the cans in the cabinet, “Yeah.”

—

Jinsol asks to go out into the city one day. Jungeun tells her that she needs to rest some more, which annoys Jinsol, but she doesn’t push it.

“I just want you to be safe,” Jungeun says as she tucks a piece of hair behind Jinsol’s ear, “I won’t be long.”

Jinsol nods and bites her lip, “Be careful.”  


“I know,” Jungeun hums, eyes flickering down to the teeth biting down on pink lips. She looks away just as quickly, “Remember: you can use a knife to open up a can.”

“Shut _up_.”

-

It’s not that late when Jungeun gets back, thankfully. Still, she walks into the house with tired feet, locking the door.

Jinsol, who had been sat on the couch, gets up once she sees the state that Jungeun’s in.

“You have blood on you,” she says worriedly, “is it your blood?”

“No,” Jungeun answers, watching as Jinsol goes to wet a towel with one of their water bottles, “I killed a few of them I found sleeping in the backroom of a convenience store.”

The taller girl stands in front of her, dabbing away at the dried blood, “Why do you always have to kill them, Jungeun?”

“What kind of question is that?” Jungeun frowns, “I kill them before they can kill me.”

Jinsol doesn’t say anything after that as she continues to scrub away at the blood splattered across Jungeun’s face.

Jungeun stares at the girl as she does this. Jinsol’s wearing the white eyepatch that Jungeun had gotten for her a few days ago, the stitches of her cut peeking out from the top and bottom of the cloth. It’s been weeks since Jungeun first saved Jinsol.

She’s gotten used to the way Jinsol laughs and the way she hugs her in her sleep and the way her good eye seems to twinkle whenever she smiles at Jungeun. And it frightens Jungeun to think that she’s getting used to the girl.

She doesn’t want to become numb to Jinsol like she’s become numb to the monsters.

“—Jungeun?”

“Huh?”

“God, you weren’t listening at all, were you?” Jinsol sighs.

“Sorry,” Jungeun mumbles, “I was lost in my head.”

“You always are,” Jinsol presses her index finger to Jungeun’s forehead and pushes, causing the girl’s head to tilt back.

“What’d you say?” Jungeun asks as Jinsol goes to wash off the towel.

“I asked you if you were hungry,”

“No,” Jungeun answers, walking towards the bathroom, “I just… I’m gonna go wash up.”

“Do you need help?” Jinsol offers.

“I… Maybe,” Jungeun pauses in her steps. It always drains her to have to kill, no matter how much she hates the things—just… the idea of taking away a life, it’s exhausting.

She hears Jinsol walk closer.

“Come on,” the taller one says quietly, taking Jungeun’s hand in hers and leading her towards the bathroom. The bathtub runs as Jinsol helps Jungeun out of her blood-stained clothes, leaving her bare with scars and bruises dotting her skin. It’s not the first time Jinsol’s seen them, but the sight of them still leaves her with an ache in her heart.

Jungeun carefully steps into the now-filled bathtub before sinking her body lower. Jinsol kneels besides the tub and turns the water off. She holds a towel in one hand as she cleans off the blood on Jungeun’s forearm.

“You don’t have to kill them, you know?”

“ _Jinsol…_ ” Jungeun starts off, tone low, like a warning.

“I’m just saying,” Jinsol sighs, moving onto Jungeun’s other arm, “You’re wasting so much energy when you could just… avoid them.”

“One more I kill is one less I have to deal with in the future,” Jungeun says, watching as the clear water starts to turn an almost-pink color with the blood.

…

Jinsol drags the towel up from Jungeun’s arm to her shoulder and collarbone, “I saved one of them.”

“What?”

“I brought one of them back to life,” Jinsol says, about to bring the towel to the back of Jungeun’s neck, but Jungeun grips her wrist tightly, stopping her.

“ _Why_?”

Water droplets drip down from their hands.

“Because he wanted me to.”

“He?”

“The leader,” Jinsol says as Jungeun loosens her grip, “the Alpha.”

“A—Alpha?” Jungeun stares at her with confused eyes, “Jinsol, what the fuck are you on about right now?”

“I… I found a cure for the virus,” Jinsol says, opting to start from the beginning if she wants this to make any sense to Jungeun, “we had been testing on lab rats since the first signs of the sickness had come out. I found the cure, and it worked on lab rats—and it worked on the creatures, too.”

Jungeun listens silently.

“The female that we had captured in order to test the vaccine… it ended up being the Alpha’s partner,” Jinsol explains, “he and his group came to rescue her. They killed everyone else.”

“But not you,” Jungeun mumbles.

Jinsol shakes her head, “Not me… and they only left me alive because… well, the _Alpha_ left me alive because he knew that I could turn her back into one of them—that I could save her.”

“We already had syringes full of the virus—it’s what we had used to infect the rats in the first place—so I just… I stuck her with the syringe and she went back to being one of _them_ ,” Jinsol says, “I thought they were going to kill me after that but the Alpha… he just took her in his arms and left. The others followed. They’re… They’re intelligent beings, Jungeun.”

The last sentence is enough for Jungeun to stand from the tub, the water dripping off her body as she steps out and grabs a dry towel. She walks to the bedroom with Jinsol following behind.

“You speak of them so highly,” Jungeun scoffs, “they’re just monsters.”

“They’re _not_ ,” Jinsol replies, shaking her head, “and they deserve to be spoken highly of.”

“That’s ridiculous,” the shorter woman says, slipping on clothes, “whose side are you on?”

“What sides are there left to be on?” Jinsol retorts.

…

“ **_Mine_ **,” Jungeun turns abruptly on her heel, coming face-to-face with Jinsol.

Jinsol frowns at the girl’s irritated tone, “Of course I’m on your side, Jungeun.”

“Then what was the point of telling me that story?” Jungeun asks angrily, “Are you asking me to stop trying to kill them? To—To let myself die the next time one of them comes up to me?”

“That’s not what I’m trying to say at all,” Jinsol says quickly, “I just want you to—”

“—to _what_ ?!” Jungeun snaps, “Those things killed the _only_ thing I found life worth living for and now you’re asking me to show them some—some fucking mercy?!”

Jinsol recoils, taking a step back as Jungeun breathes heavily.

“I’ve vowed to kill every single one of those things for Jiwoo’s sake and I won’t stop until either I die, or all of those things die,” Jungeun says through clenched teeth, “and if you don’t like that, then you can leave.”

…

“Are you serious?”

A nod.

Jinsol’s stomach churns uncomfortably and a sharp ache rips through her heart.

She stares into Jungeun’s dark eyes and finds nothing but anger and betrayal in them.

“Fine,” she mumbles.

Jungeun looks down at the ground.

Jinsol walks away.

-

It’s only been a few minutes, but Jungeun’s already going nuts thinking about where Jinsol could’ve possibly gone.

She hadn’t thought that the girl would’ve actually left. She’d said those words out of anger. She hadn’t been thinking rationally and now Jinsol’s _gone_ and the sun’s set and those _things_ are out there and—

_She needs to find her_.

Jungeun grabs her rifle and heads out. Thankfully, those _things_ haven’t yet decided to gather around her house yet.

She heads down the street and looks around, hoping to find the girl who’s kept her company for weeks. She wants to call out her name, but she’s afraid of attracting unwanted attention.

Jungeun stays quiet as she continues her search.

_How far could Jinsol have gone?_

It’s only when Jungeun turns the corner that she finds her answer.

Jinsol’s there, standing in the middle of the street with her back facing Jungeun.

And there’s a whole group of those monsters gathered in front of her.

Jungeun counts them quickly; there’s eight.

Jinsol’s just standing there, probably too terrified to move or do anything—but it doesn’t seem like the monsters are doing much, either. Jungeun narrows her eyes.

_Stationary targets are easier to hit_.

She checks her magazine clip and clicks off the safety.

However, Jungeun’s foot scrapes against broken glass as she tries to kneel down and nine heads turn towards her.

The monsters growl and start to lunge, but Jinsol cries out: “ _Wait_!”

A deeper, throatier growl rings out—and all the monsters stop.

Jinsol runs over to Jungeun, “What are you doing?” Jinsol asks.

“Saving your ass,” Jungeun replies, holding up her rifle once more. More snarls ring out and just as her index finger is about to put pressure on the trigger, Jinsol pushes the gun down, grabbing onto Jungeun’s arm.

“Stop it, Jungeun,” Jinsol begs, “ _please_ , stop. They’re going to kill you.”

“Not before I kill them first— _let me go_!”

“They’re not doing anything!” Jinsol shouts, pointing behind her, “Look at them!”

Jungeun huffs out a breath and does as she’s told, looking over Jinsol’s shoulder. The girl’s right.

The creatures aren’t doing much besides breathing erratically (as they always do) and staring at the pair.

Jungeun looks back at Jinsol.

“The Alpha doesn’t want to hurt me,” Jinsol says quietly, “I don’t want you to hurt them.”

“You’ve gotta be kidding me,” Jungeun shakes her head, “so, what? You’re friendly with them?”

“Jungeun, _please_ ,” Jinsol pleads, frustrated tears springing to her eyes, “I just don’t want you to get hurt. _Please_.”

Upon seeing Jinsol start to cry, Jungeun’s anger dissipates. She doesn’t want to regret anything again.

Jungeun lowers her gun, “Okay,” she mumbles, “fine. I won’t.”

Jinsol buries her face into Jungeun’s neck and hugs the girl tightly. Jungeun grits her teeth as she hugs her back, staring at the group of monsters in front of her. The largest of the group, who Jungeun assumes is the Alpha, takes a step forward, eyeing Jungeun.

They look at each other for a couple seconds and Jungeun feels as if she’s being analyzed by the thing—and then he turns around and lets out a snarl.

The group turns around and heads down the street.

It’s the first time in forever that they hadn’t spent the night outside of Jungeun’s home.

-

When they get into bed that night, Jinsol doesn’t curl up next to Jungeun like she usually does. Usually, Jungeun would feel the girl’s head on her shoulder the _second_ they got underneath the covers.

But they’re both laying on their backs, staring up at the ceiling. Jungeun holds her breath.

She’s worried, thinking that she had messed things up with Jinsol, but then there are lips pressing against her own two seconds later.

After taking a moment to realize what’s happening, Jungeun’s eyes flutter shut and she starts to respond to the kiss. She pushes back against Jinsol’s lips and they kiss heatedly, heavy breaths let out in between the milliseconds of their lips separating before they reconnect. Jungeun pushes Jinsol’s shoulder so she’s the one on top, straddling the taller girl as they continue to liplock.

Jinsol hums contently, running her hand up the side of Jungeun’s waist whilst Jungeun’s fingers cup her jaw.

The lustfulness of their kisses dwindle the longer that they kiss, turning from straight lust to something _more_.

Jungeun licks Jinsol’s bottom lip and when Jinsol opens her mouth to sigh, Jungeun’s lips move towards the girl’s neck.

“ _Never_ scare me like that ever again,” Jungeun whispers harshly between her kisses and bites on Jinsol’s sensitive skin.

“Then don’t—” Jinsol gasps, struggling to take in a breath, “don’t push me away ever again.”

“It’s a deal,” Jungeun says, pressing a gentle kiss to the mark she’d just left on Jinsol’s skin.

“ _Deal_ ,” Jinsol repeats through a choked moan, threading her fingers through Jungeun’s hair and guiding her into another kiss.

—

“Where are we going?”

“You’ll see,” Jungeun smiles, pressing a kiss to the back of Jinsol’s hand, the one that’s interlocked with the hand Jungeun isn’t using to drive with.

Jinsol shakes her head in amusement, looking out the window.

-

“Here we are,” Jungeun says with a toothy grin, setting the truck into park and getting out. She runs over to the passenger side and opens the door, “come on.”

“I’m coming,” Jinsol laughs. She hops down from the truck and looks around, “you brought me to… a shipping dock?”

Jungeun smiles, leading her lover closer to the water, “Yes.”

“Uh… why?” Jinsol asks, watching as Jungeun sits down and dangles her legs off the side, following suite.

“Because I used to always come here as a teenager when I needed to run away from things,” Jungeun says, pointing to the sky, “there was always a clear view of airplanes taking off from here. I thought it was neat.”

“I guess it’s pretty neat,” Jinsol agrees with a nod, “but… what are you running from?”

“What?” Jungeun tears her gaze away from the sky and looks over to Jinsol.

“You said you came here to run away,” Jinsol states, “so, what are you running from now?”

“Oh,” Jungeun replies, “I… nothing. I’m not running away from anything.”

A warmth spreads throughout Jinsol’s chest as she smiles, “Yeah?”

“Yeah,” Jungeun nods, eyes habitually closing as Jinsol leans in and presses a chaste kiss to her lips.

She smiles, eyes still closed, and leans her head on Jinsol’s shoulder.

_There’s nothing to run from._

**Author's Note:**

> kudos & comments are much appreciated!
> 
> i'm taking a break from social media for my own sake so please please please do leave a comment! i banged all this out in one night so please ignore any errors lol


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